Mother love...It doesn't always look the same...

My sister-in-law, Missy, has been in Haiti this past week on a mission trip.  She talked about serving in one of Haiti's many orphanages and having the privilege of loving on the children.  While she was there, a mother brought her little one to the orphanage in hopes of leaving the child there.  She told me about another little one, one who had significant special needs and feeding problems, who had been brought to the orphanage and left there by her mother because the mother just couldn't meet the many needs of a baby with such profound needs.

For us, American moms, who have food in our cupboards, grocery stores, food stamps available for the worst of times, food pantries, medical care, doctors, specialists, feeding teams, occupational and physical therapists, and insurance or state funded medical coverage to pay for our children's healthcare, giving our children away just so they can EAT and have their BASIC SURVIVAL NEEDS met is unthinkable.

But the truth is that in both of those cases, the mothers were giving their children away out of their own deep LOVE for their children.  Because they knew they didn't have (and may never be able to get) what those children needed to survive and they knew that giving them to the orphanage was their only shot at giving their children a future and HOPE.  Likely, life was difficult for those moms before the earthquake ever happened.   Now, in post-earthquake Haiti, things surely must seem hopeless.  The earthquake removed what little semblance of normalcy--what little glimmer of hope--that many mothers had of giving their children the kind of life they wanted for them. 

Missy's stories weren't the first I'd heard of mothers giving their children away to give them a better life.  I follow a few blogs of some missionaries who talk about that off and on as well.  And truly, today as I've spent some time reflecting on the situation, on the strength of those mothers and the self-sacrifice it took for them to come to terms with the fact that they could not provide for their children, it became clear to me that really I am no stranger to that kind of love. 

See, I had the blessing of being able to meet and have significant long-term relationships with the mothers of each of my children whom I have adopted, except for one, who I only met briefly twice.  And in every case, I can honestly say that my children were loved by their first mothers.  So much so, that of the four moms I share children with, three of them willingly entrusted their children to me personally.  Basically each of them saying the same thing.  That they knew they couldn't overcome the obstacles in front of them enough to give their child/-ren the kind of life they wanted for them, and would I please take care of them and love them for them. 

What a sacred trust I have been given!  How can I judge them?  Would I be that selfless?  Or would I just keep on, knowing it wasn't a good situation, but wanting to keep my child for myself?  I can't really say what I would do, because until I'm in their shoes and have lived their lives, I can't possibly assume to know.  But I CAN imagine the agony of making that kind of decision.  Whether the obstacle a mother faces is lack of food, lack of knowlege of how to care for a special needs child, drug addiction, extreme poverty, or demons in the past (and present) that prevent one from moving forward...the situation is basically the same.

Will you join me in praying for the mothers all over the world (maybe even a momma YOU know) who are faced with such heart-rending decisions?  Hug your kids and say a prayer of thankfulness that you aren't having to face the decision of keeping your child and causing more harm, or having to give your child away to give him a chance at life.  Can you imagine?