Be Still...

So...not much is happening here lately.  And that's part of my problem.  See, for about the past 2 or 3 years (since we moved to our not-so-temporary little house) I have been in limbo.  I've been in "temporary mode" because we moved here with the intention of this home being temporary, in hopes of building a house.  We intended to build a home big enough to be able to open Katy's Hope--and big enough to adopt more children as the Lord lead...and it hasn't happened. 

Opportunities to adopt have come and gone--many many have come and gone, in fact.  There have been some weeks when we've had three or four children's bios come through our email inbox needing an adoptive family to take them in.  And of course, there are the many many international children who need families.  And we can't be it.  But it's the most burning passion in our hearts--to care for the orphan.  To open our home and hearts to children who don't have a family to call their own.  To bring a child HOME--so they no longer have to wait and wonder if they'll ever have a family--if they'll ever truly BELONG.  All that stands in the way is a bedroom or two.  Does that make sense to anyone?  A child living in an orphanage, eating maybe once a day, sharing a room with sometimes as many as 30 or more children...and what is keeping them from a forever family is an arbitrary number of kids per bedroom.  Hmmmm...enough of the rant.  Because that's not really what I intended to talk about.

What I DID intend to talk about was what God is teaching me.  Now, I'm not claiming to have completely gotten it yet, but I'm getting glimpses every so often of the bigger picture.  Of course, of that bigger picture, I only get to see corners and spots--I don't get the whole bigger picture, and likely never will until I get to heaven.  But right now, one of the things I'm learning is about contentment.  Contentment with my house to be sure, but also contentment with where we are in life.  Learning to just "BE" and not be "ON THE WAY TO" some other point.  In other words, living in THIS day and in THIS moment, and yes...even in THIS house, not always living as if I'm working toward the goal.  So, instead of living as if this is temporary, I am learning to live as if this is it..because for now, it is; and this could be IT for a while and maybe forever.  Who knows?  Not me.  But God does. 

I'm learning that just because God isn't making the vision of Katy's Hope come to pass right now doesn't mean that it won't ever happen.  It just means that now is not the time; He has more work to do behind the scenes (in my heart or in the hearts of others) to make things ready.  Knowing this doesn't mean that I'm not frustrated daily by the lack of "movement," but I am more able to talk myself down from the frustration!     

My trip to Haiti definitely has played a part in my feelings about my house.  I am so much more thankful for our home and I feel so much less "entitled" to a bigger, "better" house.  When I think back to the tent cities, and even truly to most of the permanent homes in Haiti, I am able to see how comparably nice, even luxurious, our home is; though by US standards our house is trailer park material.  But I can be okay with that.  That is really just a pride issue anyway.  Everyone wants a nice house and in America, we are conditioned to think that our homes are supposed to look like the ones in the Better Homes and Gardens or Southern Living magazines.  And if our homes DON'T look like that, we are conditioned to believe that we are somehow "less than" or that our house is less of a home.  Bull crap.  My house is a home.  We live, love, share, grow and learn here.  It's a home.  Furthermore, if it DID look like HOUSE BEAUTIFUL, my kids would not be able to create the "happy messes" sparked by their creativity and various experiments and projects.

Like I said, I can be okay with not looking like magazine material.  What I have a hard time being okay with is that there are KIDS who NEED a place to be and a family to call their own and I CAN'T PROVIDE THAT BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OF MY HOUSE.  Yes, therein lies my frustration!  And that's what I'm having to lay at the foot of the cross.  I'm having to trust that if the Lord intends that we grow our family or that we move forward with Katy's Hope that HE will provide...that He will bring a buyer for our other house...that He will somehow make a way where there is NO WAY.  Because He CAN. 

So, in the meantime, I have to trust that we are right where He wants us.  I can live in the NOW because I know that if He wants us somewhere else, He'll get us there.  He doesn't need my worrying or stressing to accomplish anything.  It's not helpful.  My job is to do what He has set before me.  Love and teach and nurture the children He has given me.  Be a good steward of the home and resources that He has blessed us with!  All He needs from me is my heart, willing to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD.  So I will.  Well, at least I'll try.

Sweet Sisters...

My sweet girls!

Lena and MaKenzie disappeared back into their bedroom the other day and came out looking like this!  They had had a makeup party...love the eye shdow and lipstick colors!

 I remember when I was little, I always thought I wished I had a sister--I had 3 brothers, but they were all much older than I and not very interested in a little punk sister tagging along.  But when my brothers were dating the girls who have become my sisters-in-law, the girls would bring their makeup bags to the house and give me mini-makeovers.  I loved that!

I'm so glad my girls have each other to play with.  They are forever playing "Doctor Katie" or some such imaginary game.  I know that having Lena to keep up with forces MaKenzie to work hard at her physical skills, too. 

A few weeks ago on Facebook (where else) my nieces were chatting back and forth and someone posted these words.  I'm not sure if they're lyrics or a poem, but I thought they were sweet.

"There were never such devoted sisters.

Never had to have a chaperone, no sir,

I'm there to keep my eye on her.

Caring, sharing

Every little thing that we are wearing...

All kinds of weather, we stick together;

The same in the rain and sun.

Two different faces, but in tight places,

We think and we act as one.

Those who've seen us know

That not a thing could come between us."

Jonas' Birthday!

Jonas turned 11 a few weeks ago, and I've been looking and looking for the pictures to prove it.  Alas, they're nowhere to be found.  But it's true, he did indeed turn a year older.  He chose beef stew (I knew it would be either that or cincinnati chili with hot dogs and spaghetti noodles.) for his "special" meal and he asked me to make a chocolate mayonaise cake (one of our family favorites) for his birthday.  Because Grandpa's birthday is close to Jonas', we invited Mom and Dad over to share the evening.

This year Jonas has really stepped up to the plate and is beginning to take on much more responsibility on a day to day basis.  He is always faithful to do what I ask him to do (except on the rare occasion when he forgets, like 11 year olds are prone to do) and always willingly does all those "little extra" things I always seem to find that need to be done.  I love that every time he walks past me, he reaches out and touches me in some way, usually a pat on my arm or a quick back rub.

I've been missing Jonas the past few days.  He and Harold went to work on the disaster relief team that was sent to our nearby town to help with the flood damage relief effort. Every time I've spoken with Harold, he tells me that Jonas is being helpful and working hard.  I'm not surprised.

These aren't Jonas' birthday pictures, I snapped these as Jonas was coming back from the compost heap with his empty compost bucket.  That's one of his outside jobs now that there are no pigs to feed.  He "feeds" and turns the compost heap each day.  It's not glamorous, but he gets the job done!  He's learning to be faithful in the small things, so he'll be ready when the Lord sends the bigger things along.

In the meantime we get to look forward to another year of him being:

J - Joyful
O - Obnoxious (meant in the very best way one can be obnoxious!)
N - Noble
A - Affectionate
S - Smart

Yes, another year of him being...JONAS...simply himself, because he's just right and I wouldn't want him to be any different!  I'm so thankful to be his Momma and I couldn't be more proud of him!

Chewy and Chewy...

This is Chewy, the goat who thinks he's human...

And this is Chewy, the boy who thinks he's a goat!

Chewy the goat, was Harold's surprise for John Wesley when we returned from Haiti.  He's a Nubian wether and he's got the sweetest personality.  He stands at our porch gate as if he's just waiting for someone to let him in.  And I do believe he'd be perfectly at home as a house goat.  Not that that's happening any time soon, just sayin'.

Chewy the boy, whose proper name is actually Matthew, got his nickname from his brother, Jared.  When Jared first learned to say "Matthew," it came out more as "Matt-chew."  So the "Chew" part stuck and we just added a "y" to the end.  And it's so very appropriate.  He chews EVERYTHING--food or non-food.  He's an equal opportunity chew-er.  

The day I took these pictures they had come face to muzzle over the porch gate and it occurred to me that I should document their similar but opposite tendencies just for the fun of it--and, of course, because they're both so darn cute!

51 Golden Years!

Today is Mom and Dad's 51st Anniversary!  51 YEARS!  That's a long time.  I'm so thankful that I was afforded the blessing of the parents I was given.  Now more than ever, I'm so aware of the rare gift of not just parents who have stayed together, but even moreso, parents who were HAPPY, who LOVE each other and who love each of their children.  I'm sure folks must wonder if after all this time, they have any hints or tips that would be helpful to the rest of us.  I know at least two of their secrets, so I'll go ahead and let you in on those.

#1:  Take every opportunity to share a private joke or a quick "goose" when you think no one else is looking--or even if they are looking, it doesn't matter. 

Yes, folks, even after 51 years, they still laugh, joke and flirt.  They are also the very definition of best friends.

#2:  Steal kisses several times a day. 

I remember growing up, everywhere they went, they either held hands or had their arms around each other.  I didn't realize then that other folks just didn't do that.  Looking back I realize what a gift those memories are.  Now MY children are blessed to have the memories of their grandparents continuing to act like newlyweds even after 51 years!

So, Mom and Dad, Happy Anniversary and thank you so much for loving each other, because in doing so, you have modeled love for all of us who have been blessed to witness the love you have for one another.  It is true that the best way to show love to your children is to love your spouse. 

Q & A...

What do you call a chicken once it crosses the electric fence?

FRIED CHICKEN!!!!

Matthew says...

Peek-A-Boo!!!

Luke 10:19

I almost forgot to tell this story.  I'm so glad I looked back through my Haiti pictures for the millionth time and saw these!  It's a story of God's protection.

We had gone to the Wahoo Bay beach/resort for the afternoon to do a little sighseeing and relaxing.  It was a gorgeous day; the weather was perfect and the humidity was not as bad as it had been earlier in the week.  In fact, on this day, there wasn't even any rain, and although it was a bit overcast at times, it was still beautiful!

We spent several hours just enjoying the sand, and the ocean.  John Wesley and several others from our team headed out on a boat like the one in the above picture to snorkel on the reef, while others of us hung out under the cabanas and read or talked (or snapped pictures).  Oh, and, of course, there were vendors there as well.  I had this man, Isaac, make personalized name bracelets for each of the kids.

 

But what sticks in my mind most from this day is what happened as we were leaving the beach to go back to the mission house.  There was an outside shower and I sat down on the rock wall to wait for the rest of the crew to get ready to go.  When I stood up, this is what we saw!!!

This little scorpion had been right behind my bare leg as I sat waiting for my friends!

A SCORPION!!!  Granted it was a small one, maybe only an inch or more, but from the big deal the local men made of killing it once we discovered it, I have a feeling it was big enough to do some damage if it had wanted to.  So, of course I had to have my picture taken with it!  Right?  When you survive an almost-scorpion-sting, it's customary to have your picture taken with the scorpion that almost stung you, right?

Anyway, as we drove back to the mission house, this verse kept running through my mind and I knew I had to share it here.  I can't believe I haven't done it sooner!

"Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you."        ~Luke 10:19

Caprine Covetousness...

Even goats seem to think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have."

~Hebrews 13:5