(a sunflower the boys planted back in the spring thriving in our yard, which has absolutely NOTHING to do with the subject of this post...)
This past Thursday marked 21 years for Harold and me. 21 YEARS! It's been more than 21 years that we have been together, more like nearly 25 years ago now that I was a 14 year old student with a raging crush on the automotive tech teacher. Yes, it's true. Harold robbed the cradle. He is about 6 years older than I.
I remember the day when we realized we were thinking the same kinds of thoughts toward one another. It was one of those moments where you kind of look at each other and there's the understood look of "Are you thinking what I'm thinking????" and then the relief that you haven't been imagining the sparks that have been happening. Immediately following that revelation for us were the words, "No, we can't do this. We can't have a relationship." Of course that was because we were student and teacher at a Christian boarding school.
So, we kind of sat on our feelings for a while, waiting to see if it was just a passing crush, or if was more important to both of us. I remember during this time, Mom and Dad and I took a trip to New York to visit our relatives. While we were gone, we stopped at a McDonald's to eat and there was this guy who had dark curly hair and a mustache (as Harold did back in the day) and I remember saying, "Wow, that guy really looks like Harold!" I must have said it several times, cause Mom finally commented on my observation. She didn't pry though, cause that wasn't (and still isn't) her way. She just made the casual observation that I had made several comments about Harold over the course of the trip.
It mustn't have been long after that trip that Harold asked my parents (who worked at the school) and the then-President of the school if it would be okay if we saw each other. They both agreed. Of course the deal was we had to be discreet. No "flaunting" our relationship in front of the student body or other staff.
Thus began our courtship. Harold and I would (TRY TO) act indifferent to one another when we ran into each other during the day on campus. Then a few nights a week, after he finished his obligations (teaching and coaching) he would come over to my house (my mom or dad were always there) and we'd spend time hanging out and getting to know each other.
This period of time (which was basically my last two years of high school) was really difficult in many ways for us, but looking back it is so funny to remember! I limited my circle of friends to a few very close friends because I knew I'd spill the beans. People probably knew anyway, I don't know. It would be interesting to know how many folks knew and never said anything or how many people had no clue. I'm willing to bet there were several who suspected but didn't have enough evidence to make a confident accusation.
Sometimes when we were at my house, another faculty member or a student would have to come to talk to my parents (we lived just down the hill from the campus) to bring papers or ask a question (or sign a suspension slip) and Harold would have to go to the back of the house or into the kitchen until they left. Other times, Harold would drive the band bus or the choir bus and we would have to pretend not to be anything besides acquaintances. We would steal glances in the rearview mirror and sometimes Harold would make comments that meant nothing to anyone else, but were loaded with "secret" meanings to the two of us.
Later, as I became old enough to actually go out on a car date, we would drive his little Ford Pinto that didn't have a passenger seat. He would park the Pinto in a covert location out of eyeshot of campus and I would get in the car and cover up with a blanket or a jacket and wait. Then he would get in the car later after we were sure the coast was clear. We would drive out of town like that for several minutes, then I would come out of hiding and we would act like normal people. But everytime we passed a car that looked familiar we would stress out, afraid we may be discovered. We always went to a town that was off the beaten path for our dates. We had to travel about an hour or so and never really felt comfortable being out and about together for fear that we'd run into someone.
Honestly it's a wonder we made it through all of that. We must have really wanted to be together to have gone through all that trouble! :) As a mom, I look back and wonder how my mom and dad felt about me dating a guy so much older. My gut feeling is that they were SOOOO relieved that they didn't give a flip how old he was. In comparison to some of the other guys I had dated (by the ripe old age of 14--yes, my views of dating have changed dramatically since those days), Harold was an angel, so they were happy to see me with a decent guy and took their chances!
I remember being so relieved the day I graduated. But having been so "discreet" all that time, it was still very hard for me to "go public" with our relationship. It still felt like I was doing something against the rules, even though technically we had always had the permission--even the blessing--of the people who really mattered.
We continued dating for another year (which was not nearly as interesting since it was socially acceptable and all) while I was at college, and we got married the following summer. The rest, as they say, is history. I can't imagine having spent the last 21 years (25 actually) with anyone else! I know I am blessed beyond measure with this man who loves me and loves our children SOOOO much. More importantly he loves God and spends his life serving Him.
This year for our anniversary, my mom & dad offered to watch our kids (yes...all 8 of them--cause they're cool like that) while Harold and I went away for 2 nights. Harold already had to be gone for meetings for 2 days, so we used that as a base for our plans. We stayed at a hotel (with a jacuzzi!) and went out to eat a couple times, and even went to a play together. We watched a live performance of "The Sound of Music." It was so much fun--although I have to admit it felt weird to be alone together for so long, but not weird in a "don't know what to do" kind of way. Harold and I are not only partners in "extreme" parenting, but we're also best friends, so there's no shortage of things to keep us busy talking and laughing. Plus, we got to smooch a little. It was so nice to have the time together, but it was equally nice to be home with the kids Saturday night! I'm not sure how many times I heard my name, but it was enough to let me know they were happy to see me, too! One of the kids would be telling me something and before they could even get the first sentence out, another would be saying, "Mommy, blah blah blah..." and I'd have to tell them to wait a minute. I think I should've just had them take a number!
Anyway, that is the story of how we met and got to know one another and ultimately came to love each other. My kids love to hear it and tease us whenever we see an old Ford Pinto. I thought I would post it here for posterity's sake! If you knew us way back then, I'd love for you to leave a message and tell me whether or not you knew our "secret" and how you found out!
