MaKenzie is not herself...

We are still in the Peds' ICU with MaKenzie.  Yesterday, she gave us quite a scare.  She wouldn't wake up at all and her respirations were very erratic, sometimes going as low as 5-7 per minute.  I knew things were serious, but it was still scary when they brought out the equipment to intubate her and had the crash cart ready to go.  Thankfully she finally perked up and she didn't have to be intubated.

Although she is definitely doing better than yesterday, she continues to baffle us and the doctors.  She is still quite sleepy.  When she is awake, she has a hard time maintaining a conversation (if you know her, you know this is NOT NORMAL!!!).  When she is talking, she slurs her words or uses the wrong words altogether and she cannot sit up without falling over.  If I didn't know better, I'd say someone had slipped her something alcoholic.  I've never actually seen a drunk 7 year old, but I'm fairly certain she is what that would look like. 

It is unclear why she is having the difficulties she's having. From a neurosurgical standpoint, she is doing okay.  But she is most certainly not herself.  She's not in much pain per se.  She does have a bit of pain at her incision site, and some general scalp tenderness, but I think that's completely normal given the circumstances.

It is frustrating for Harold and me to hear the docs say, "Well, she looks good, so let's just keep an eye on her."  I realize they're saying that she doesn't have any more symptoms of shunt failure, but as I said, these new developments are so not her.   They did an EEG this morning and started some anti-seizure meds, as they are suspecting some seizure activity, which would definitely be a new development for her.  We will hear the results of that this afternoon.

Harold and I have been trying to get her to rest as much as possible, hoping that her body will do it's healing thing as she sleeps.  It's been a hard couple months for her.  She had the shunt revision on August 31, ear surgery on September 5, then the two revisions two weeks ago, and the revision yesterday.  Not many people I know have 5 surgeries in such a short time span.  Not many people I know could have that many surgeries and still smile--although she is slowly losing her sweet personality. 

She finally had had it yesterday and yelled at a couple of the doctors and told them in no uncertain terms that they were NOT to touch her anymore because they were hurting her.  While it was heartbreaking on one hand, it was refreshing to actually see her stand up for herself--something she is not likely to do usually.  She normally just takes what is handed to her and smiles about it.  I think she's done that long enough.  It's time for her to feel better and be done with the pokes, prods, needles, and invasive exams.  It's time for her to be home with her brothers and sister.  It's time for her to ask me, "Mommy, do you know why I love you?" and to ask her Daddy, "Daddy, why's your head so big?"  It's time to roll my eyes when she starts up a long complicated conversation with a complete stranger.  It's time to see the familiar light of her sweet spirit shining in her eyes.  Soon, I pray...